Hospice is like kindergarten (life cycle)

Dictionary.com says :

Hospice : a nursing home that specializes in caring for the terminally ill.

Kindergarten : a class or small school for young children, usually between the ages of four and six to prepare them for primary education.

I was watching CNN(my dad had it switched on), so there was an interview with a woman who works at a hospice in China (if i'm not mistaken) and she says that hospice for old people is like kindergarten for children. She has a point.

Old people are old. Children are young. The similarities that they share is that both need the supervision of a capable adult to look after them. Basically, these people can't look after themselves.

When you are an infant/child, your parents look after you. Then you become an adult. And when your parents become older, you have to look after them. So the hospice worker was right, it's a life cycle.

But when adult children send their elderly parents to hospice/old folks home, people accused the children of being UNGRATEFUL. Honestly, this is not always the case.

Can parents be considered ungrateful for sending their children to live with their in laws because they don't have the time to look after the children? Are parents not good parents if they let the maids look after the child 24/7? The only time they have with the child is during the weekends, when they are not working.

In the case of adult children, they need to work now that their parents are old. If their parents are very sick, then hospice would be the better option because at least they get a 24/7 medical attention. Old folks home isn't that bad because at least the elderly parent can interact with other old people, unless they prefer to stay at home alone and wait until their children get back to entertain them, but that also depends whether the child is tired or not. It's life cycle actually.

Now, unless you are a healthy old person who have hobbies of your own, then that's another story. Of course the child should allow the parent to live with them (but usually the parent will be staying in her/his own house).

It depends why a an adult send his/her parent to a hospice/old folks home. If it's to get rid of the parent because the parent is burdensome, than that's so wrong. If it's because they need constant care/attention, then that should be ok, provided the child visits the parent occasionally.

Sometimes old people get neglected. So does children.

The "Kamikaze" Malay Gay

http://malaysia.news.yahoo.com/ap/20101221/tap-as-malaysia-gay-confession-1st-ld-wr-b3c65ae.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJLSteQIcms

Above are the news and video link to the incident where a Malay guy openly confessed that he's gay and proud of it.

I've been wanting to blog about this 2 days ago while the news is still hot but i was having writer's block and i didn't have a comfortable place to blog (busy moving so currently i'm blogging with my laptop on the stool and i'm sitting on the floor and it's hurting my back).

What can you conclude from this video based on what the gay dude is saying?

1. It's hard being gay in Malaysia, especially if you are a MUSLIM (when you are a Malay, it's implied you are a Muslim).

Do tell me, is Islam the only religion that says being a homosexual is a SIN? Islam and Christian tells the story of Prophet Lut/Lot, whereby during his time God turned the world upside down to punish those who practice homosexual lifestyle after the wrongdoers refused to listen to the prophet as the messenger of God. I'm not going to lecture you on religion but since the guy brought religion up, it's only FAIR that i do so.

Let's be truthful, it seems like Muslims are more AGGRESSIVE when it comes to religion and God. We don't like it when people make fun of our religion and neither do we like it when some Muslim suddenly want to be SO BLOODY OPEN and GO AGAINST THE TEACHING OF THE RELIGION OPENLY. We show our anger and some Muslims even go to extend of giving death threats (which i think in certain cases is way too extreme).

I'm not saying other followers don't care about their religion but perhaps they are more laid back, more on forgiving perhaps? Perhaps that is caused by the Western culture. I've seen so many cartoons and even shows making fun of Jesus. I personally think it's wrong, sorry if my sense of humor sucks. I don't like it if people make fun of my family, what more my religion?

Yes, to some of you non muslims out there, you probably think we OVER REACTED when we Muslims become angry when somebody draw a picture of Prophet Muhammad with the bomb on his head or when a Muslim killed the guy who made a very degrading video on Islam (he damn deserved it) BUT we are just showing over strong disapproval. If we just keep quiet, people will be MORE DARING to insult the religion even more. If your child did something wrong, do you, as a parent just keep quiet and let him continue doing that wrong thing? No. You must scold him and punish him, only then he will learn and won't dare repeat the same mistake.

Islam also believe in forgiving, but before you can forgive someone, sometimes punishment in necessary so other people won't dare repeat the same mistake.


2. It's hard being gay in Malaysia because of culture and religion.

Duh, one of Malaysia's RUKUN NEGARA is "Kepercayaan kepada Agama" a.k.a "Believe in Religion". So Religion have more priority than whatever damn human right you want to claim that contradicts the religion. I have to thank my dad for telling me this. He was explaining this to me in regards to why gay marriages in Malaysia shouldn't be allowed.


AM I AGAINST GAY?

Be gay all you want but do it privately. Don't go around telling people it's ok to be gay because it isn't. Even if you don't believe in religion, COMMON SENSE tells you that gay is just against HUMAN NATURE because only sex between a man and woman can produce a child. That's how the system is suppose to work. You know something is WRONG when it DOESN'T WORK. Being gay is all about LUST. Sex out of wedlock is wrong but yet people do it. It is caused by lust. But you can't go around telling people and encouraging people it's OKAY TO HAVE SEX OUT OF WEDLOCK. neither do you encourage people and tell people it's okay to have child out of wedlock. Yes, these things happen even if it's wrong but telling people it's ok is not right.

YOU THINK THESE GAYS WANT TO BE GUIDED TO THE RIGHT PATH?

People can't help you unless you help yourself. If you demand society to accept you into society as a gay, you demand the government to give rights to gay and allow gay marriages, how will all these indicate you want to be guided to the right path?

Allowing all these are just encouraging them to be further from the right path because you are giving them what they want.

IF YOU ACKNOWLEDGE GAY, YOU ARE JUST SPREADING THE "DISEASE"

You think i will be happy if one day i have a son and he chooses to be gay because gay is no longer taboo in society and it's a norm? What's happening now in this world is that whatever bad things that is taboo ages ago have been a norm. Like transvestite and having child out of wedlock. These have become norms. If you do any of these, there won't be shame because it's accepted in society TODAY.

If gay becomes a norm, people who won't do it might do it because it's a normal thing, nothing to be embarrass about.

This is Malaysia. Respect the cultures and religions. Do bad things privately until you get caught and then you face the consequences, don't force society to accept your "bad thing".

This gay guy and people who support him are just stupid idiots. Were they born yesterday? Don't expect to come up with something as stupid as this and declare it openly without getting death threats or harsh criticisms. And then have the nerve to say Malaysians aren't open or too conservative or Muslims are violent. Screw you and your way too liberal immoral values.

Women in Danger

So MEN are FLIES then?

I came across this pic and it caught my interest. It's a good comparison to hejab (head cover). Women are like sweets, men are like disgusting flies :-D. However, it also cause some dissatisfaction in me.

So yes, women are told to cover up to protect themselves. It seems like every where a woman goes, she needs to protection. And if she doesn't that the protective steps, society will blame her. Example, if she doesn't dress decently, and she gets raped, people will say serves her right. But if she dresses decently and she was raped, only then people will call the man an animal.

That's another reason why woman can't go out late at night, because of the dangerous men lurking around, waiting for women who are ALONE.

Ha, you don't even have to wait night time for it to be dangerous. So long as you are alone, you will be in danger. Like me, I go to public places but because i'm ALONE, there are a few occasions when i came face to face with dangerous men.

Me doing things alone, is it my fault? It's not always practical to do things with friends. Furthermore, i don't have a bf who can accompany me and protect me in some way. So is this why women are encouraged to get MARRIED? Ha, even in marriages some women have to deal with abusive husband.

This world have never been fair to women. Then again, when were things ever fair? If you don't dress decently, people say it's your fault, you are just looking for trouble. If a robber robs a rich man, do you blame the rich man for having a lot of property?

When it comes to women, women are always at fault. There will always be ads to remind women do dress decently to protect themselves. Yes, i admit it's a good thing but why should women bear all the damn BURDEN? Why can't there be ads to remind men to look after what they "see" or "feel". When you see a scantily clad woman, you think she's immoral, lacked religous teachings. It's so easy to judge a woman right? But when a man ogle or drools after scantily dressed women, or owns porn it's NORMAL, he's not a bad man.

Lacked of Sensitivity?

Above is a video titled "Iklan Deepavali 2010 FINAS". Some think this is a controversial video while others think otherwise. For me, when i first view it i find nothing controversial although i was irritated at how dramatic this whole ad is to the extend that she's giving birth at the end of the ad. I saw some comments on the vid and majority don't see the problem with this vid. Of course you don't see the problem because you are a Malay and you are a Muslim and this video is "siding" the Malay Muslims.

It's not my intention to create issues but i just want to point out what i think. Look at it from a Hindu perspective. What makes you think they enjoy watching their people being converted out from their religion? Especially since the conversion is because the child is going to marry another person of another religion. But for the need to get married, the child wouldn't need to convert to that religion. Ask yourself this, as a Muslim. Wouldn't you be very pissed off when your family member says he/she wants to convert out of Islam because he/she wants to marry a non Muslim? But we are aware that in Islam, you are not allowed to convert out of the religion, therefore when it comes to marriage, the non Muslims have to convert into Islam. There's no compromise to that. Non Muslims will see this as a very strict and non compromising rule. Perhaps this is one of the many reasons why Islamophobia happens among some non Muslims. It won't happen actually if they try to understand Islam and the reasoning for such rules.

Like the movie "Sepet". It's about a Malay girl and Chinese boy who fell in love. I didn't watch it but i know in the end the Chinese boy died. Good too so that the director don't have to touch on the sensitive part in deciding who have to convert to who's religion if they plan to get married. But this being Malaysia, we all know that the Chinese guy MUST convert to Islam. Some Chinese might not be very happy with such ending while some may be COOL about it.

It's understandable if a family with very strong religious beliefs choose to disown the child or becomes very angry if the child choose to convert to another religion.

The problem with this advertisement is that it lacks sensitivity. What happens if this ad was made the other way round? The girl actually converted to Hindu and comes back during Hari Raya with her Hindu husband. What an outrageous scenario! It will never be shown on tv because the Malay Muslims will be so damn angry and claim it's an insult to Islam. Of course it's an insult to Islam.

And don't you think some sensitive Hindu will be insulted by such video? "Oh you can do that, but if we want to do that we can't". This whole conversion thing is a sensitive matter. Yes, it's happening in reality but why do we need to touch about it? It's ok when a non Muslim convert to Islam but if a Muslim convert into another religion we have to keep in hush hush? Apostasy is UNACCEPTABLE in Islam and you shouldn't go around telling people it's ok to convert out because it's not. Yes, if you don't want to be a Muslim, don't practice as a Muslim then but don't declare to the whole world that you converted out of Islam because that will amount to putting ideas into people's head. And you can get killed for that.

What i'm really trying to say is that you don't go around telling people how a non Muslim can convert into Islam and his/her family members should learn to accept it while if the same thing were to happen with a Muslim convert into another religion you will create chaos. Be more sensitive, taking into account the perspective of a Non Muslim. Festival Celebration ads used to be so simply and straightforward. Just because our society has become so complicated, doesn't mean we have to make our ads so complicated and to remind people of this whole complication.

Remember the controversial Hari Raya advertisement where it seems elements of Buddhism and Christianity are being injected into the ad and many Malays were very pissed off about it? I think the ad was improper, but hey, the creators of the ads were probably into the mood of 1 MALAYSIA, where you "rojak" all the religions into one. Seriously, if it's Deepavali, just stick wholly to Deepavali. If it's Hari Raya, just stick wholly to Hari Raya. Same goes to other celebrations. If you want to involve other races in your celebration ads, just show one race visiting another for open house.

Culture v Religion

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20101017/wl_afp/germanymuslimreligionimmigration

This blog entry is in reference to the link above.

I quote these following passages that got my attention :


1. "This approach has failed, totally," she said, adding that immigrants should integrate and adopt Germany's culture and values.

"We feel tied to Christian values. Those who don't accept them don't have a place here," said the chancellor.

2. Turkish President Abdullah Gul, in a weekend interview, also urged the Turkish community living in Germany to master the language of their adopted country.

"When one doesn't speak the language of the country in which one lives that doesn't serve anyone, neither the person concerned, the country, nor the society," the Turkish president told the Suedeutsche Zeitung.

"That is why I tell them at every opportunity that they should learn German, and speak it fluently and without an accent. That should start at nurseries."


3. The integration of Muslims has been a hot button issue since August when a member of Germany's central bank sparked outrage by saying the country was being made "more stupid" by poorly educated and unproductive Muslim migrants with headscarves.


Truth to be told, this article has some relevance to Malaysia since Malaysia is a Multicultural country.

What i can say about Germany's approach to multicultural society is that it's very strict, as you can see from the above passages. They demand for MIGRANTS to speak fluent German and to adopt it's culture. We are talking about MIGRANTS here, not IMMIGRANTS. the difference?

Migrants : Also called migrant worker. a person who moves from place to place to get work, esp. a farm laborer who harvests crops seasonally.

Immigrants : a person who migrates to another country, usually for permanent residence.

So logically speaking, if you were going to make a foreign country as a permanent residence, you should be able to talk FLUENTLY in that country's language right as oppose to just wanting to work in a foreign country and later go back to your own country? But taking Malaysia as an example, you still can find a lot of non malays who can't speak Bahasa Malaysia (BM) fluently despite the fact that they were born here. What i'm trying to point out here is that how lenient and flexible Malaysia is towards the non malays and yet there are some non malays who have the decency to be very critical about Malaysia being very bias and not respecting them. Look at Germany, it seems like they demand that you follow their culture. Again, i quote from the article :

"That is why I tell them at every opportunity that they should learn German, and speak it fluently and without an accent. That should start at nurseries".

How many non Malays can speak BM without an accent? But believe me, i've come across a few non Malays who can speak BM without an accent and i'm very proud of them.

Another thing that i wanted to point out is that it's f*cking unfair when u say "country was being made "more stupid" by poorly educated and unproductive Muslim migrants with headscarves." This is simply another attempt at attacking Islam. Why do pin point a person's religion as the source of his flaw and not his culture? Do you want to humiliate Islam and that's why you think because he's a Muslim, he's lazy and stupid? Because the religion doesn't make the followers advance in life?

Look at Japan for example. We know the people there are hardworking. But we don't say Buddhists are hardworking, instead we say the Japanese are hardworking. When we say Japanese are hardworking it means we are saying something about their culture.

So why the "poorly educated" and "unproductive" migrants have to be MUSLIMS? Why don't you attack that person's nationality? Imagine if those migrants are Christians, i'm pretty sure the Germans won't dare say the same thing but instead will attack that person's nationality.

"abandoning practices such as forced marriages." This is another passage i get from the article. Why do you associate force marriage with Islam. I don't know whether it means arrange marriage too but forced/arranged marriage is not an Islam thing. It's a culture thing that is common in Asian countries and even the Arab countries.

So what i'm trying to conclude from all of this is that

1. Be grateful to live in Malaysia where you are not forced to speak BM fluently or to follow and adapt the Malay culture. Up until now, i still remembered when a non Malay friend of mine said to her friend that she's lucky to be living in Singapore and not in Malaysia. I know she can't wait to get out of Malaysia and that's why she can say such thing. I think some people find the Malay culture to be stupid and uncool and that's why they don't follow it compare to following the Western culture where it's sooooooo cool and open.

2. Culture and religion can sometimes be closely connected to a person's character. But culture and upbringing actually influence more on a person's character since we all know that these days people don't really follow religion. Example, if a person works as a prostitute or drinks alcohol or take drugs and the person is a Muslim, is it fair to say "Oooh Muslims are like that? They are soo into drugs!". Look at America. It has become a norm there for people to have children out of wedlock and these people are Christians. Do we say Christians are bad? No. We blame the culture and not the religion because the Christians in Asian countries still find that having children out of wedlock is a taboo, embarrassing, humiliating and a disgrace to the family.