So You Love Me? Or Are You Just Lonely

"The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters" – Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Above is my favorite quote because in some ways, it's true. Let's talk about loneliness. People are afraid of it. People are afraid to do things alone or not comfortable doing things alone. When i say i live alone, people always ask don't i feel lonely? Truth to be told, even if i do feel lonely, it doesn't bother me because i keep myself occupied and i don't have the time to think about loneliness. When i say i watch movies alone, people sympathized with me. Is it "sad" if someone do things alone? Have you ever wonder perhaps it isn't me who's "sad" since i'm capable of doing things alone? Are you able to survive being alone or do you let loneliness consume you?

I have my reasons doing things alone. I like to get things done fast. If you plan with friends, it might take some time since you need to do planning and their schedule can be different from yours. Besides that, you might have different interest with them. I like horror, most of my friends don't like horror movies. But this doesn't mean i ignore my friends. Once awhile i will meet up with them but if i want to really do something and there's no one to company me, i'll do it alone. I'm not gloating that i can survive being alone. No one likes to be alone but there are times when you need to learn to be alone and cope with that feeling. Why should you fear loneliness? Unfortunately, many fear it.


Some people feel very alone when they are NOT in a relationship while most of their friends are in relationship or married. When people have partners, they tend to do things more with their partners, hence sometimes forgetting their friends. It's a very common scenario. That's why you have people feeling sad or down when they see people around them are in relationship. They are already alone, so when their friends are in relationship, they feel even more alone.

As Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche quote says, "The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters"...

There's so much truth to that. When you are alone and you feel miserable, the moment you have the opportunity to be with someone, you grab it immediately without thinking because you think by having someone you won't feel lonely anymore. You don't think whether you like the person inside and out. Do you even know that person's interests and hobbies? Or his good or bad habits? Just because someone said they like you, they are falling for you, they want to be with you, you get all too excited and decide to be in a relationship.


9 years ago, if a guy says he wants to be with me, i'll get all excited and think i want to be with him too. But after going through so many relationships and meeting all kinds of men and observing people's relationship, i learn one important lesson in relationship, never rush. Remember the song that goes ..

Wise men say only fools rush in



But I can't help  falling in love with you



Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?



If I can't help falling in love with you

The song is by Elvis Presley titled "Only Fools Rush In". True, only fools rush in. Love is always beautiful and perfect when you first start dating. You couldn't even see your partner's flaws.. That's what we call love is blind. You are so in love, you are ignorant.

Lonely as i may be, i wouldn't want to rush into relationship. i have set a certain standard for my next partner. Personally, i rather be alone than having to be in an unhappy relationship.

So many people are eager to be in a relationship or propose to be in a relationship because they are lonely or have been too lonely too long. To some extent, i don't blame them. I've been single about 6 months now since i last broke up with my ex. Some people have been single for years. Perhaps that's why they rush into a relationship the moment they have a chance. I wonder if i would be that way? Perhaps i should stay single for the next 2 years. But whatever it is, i won't commit into a relationship just because i'm lonely. I'll only commit if i find the The Almost Perfect Prince Charming. And i DEFINITELY will NOT be with a guy who wants to be with me just because he's feeling lonely, or he thinks he needs to settle down with someone. And i know such guy when i see one. And there are many of them. Loneliness shouldn't be a reason to be in a relationship.

I'm not ignorant of reality either.. perhaps now i'm capable of coping with loneliness because my family members are still around. I love them more than anything. But even if my family members are not around, i wish i will be able to cope with loneliness and won't let it consume me by making me resort to relationship despite not being ready.