Sex and Marriage

Hmmm people will probably wonder why am i blogging about marriage since i'm not married and have ZERO experience in marriage. Well, do you need to be a drug addict or an alcoholic first before you can say it's bad or not good? All you need is observations and stories that supports your observations to know it's true.

As a non married happily single person, i sit back and relax and come across married men who cheated and hear stories of married men who cheated. Basically my life is filled with real stories of people who have affairs.

Men who polygamy behind the wife's back is a form of indirect but legal cheating. Just because you can marry that whore behind my back LEGALLY you think you didn't cheat on me before you were married to her? All the "secret datings" with your new whore of a wife that eventually lead to your 2nd, 3rd, 4th marriage are cheatings. What makes you think cheating is only limited to SEX? For me, cheating is when you have feelings for another person and you actually went on dates with the person or you have sex with another person. But of course, secret polygamy is a form of cheating that makes a man less guilty for having cheated on his wife.

Lately i've been hearing stories of husbands being deprived months of no sex. That's quite sad especially if you are just in your 20's and 30's. Marriage is a symbiosis relationship. The husband look after the wife financially while the wife looks after the husband sexually. Why else do most men say that he will stop all his flirting and sleeping around before he gets married? He hopes that when he gets married, he'll get unlimited sex from his wife which will prevent him from sleeping around.

I don't know why the women refused to have sex with the husband.... The reason varies which includes no mood, just don't like sex, sleepy, not horny, husband not good in bed, etc. Well, husband not good in bed, that's a big problem which only can be settled between the partners themselves. How is it the husband is not good in bed? erectile dysfunction --> that should be your major concern. Husband not romantic enough? All these you need to point out because you are already married to him. I know it's embarrassing and awkward to talk about but sometimes you just have to sound like a mean bitch to get what you want. Then if you choose to keep quite bout it, you'll find another man to fulfill your lust?

As for women who just don't like the idea of sex, you'll just have to deal with it unless you don't mind your husband sleeping around because i think there are some women who don't mind. Why not? She gets to remain in the marriage and be financially supported while other women please her husband sexually, something which she is glad she doesn't have to do. That's what you call marriage without love. No jealousy, no love. But please don't be excessively jealous... that's bad and suffocating for the relationship.

Going back to men...
Those who are being deprived months of sex, i feel sorry for you but you just have to demand it from your wife. Cheating is not an option. If you want to cheat, better divorce.
On the other hand, some men are not deprived of sex from the wife but he simply wants to have have a string of affairs for the thrill of it. This is what you call fucked up assholes. This kind of species shouldn't be married in the first place.

Relationship is complicated and hard. When there's a problem, either you deal with it or you don't. If you choose to deal with it, your partner may be offended by the problem you have with him/her. But if you don't deal with that problem, it might cause you to have an affair with another person. Sometimes i think, if the problem is such a big thing to extend it can cause you to sleep with another person, why not just divorce/break it off with your partner? That my dear friends, is what you call being selfish. An affair is temporary but a partner is for a life time.

The way i look at relationships now a days, loyalty has been made redundant.

So You Love Me? Or Are You Just Lonely

"The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters" – Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Above is my favorite quote because in some ways, it's true. Let's talk about loneliness. People are afraid of it. People are afraid to do things alone or not comfortable doing things alone. When i say i live alone, people always ask don't i feel lonely? Truth to be told, even if i do feel lonely, it doesn't bother me because i keep myself occupied and i don't have the time to think about loneliness. When i say i watch movies alone, people sympathized with me. Is it "sad" if someone do things alone? Have you ever wonder perhaps it isn't me who's "sad" since i'm capable of doing things alone? Are you able to survive being alone or do you let loneliness consume you?

I have my reasons doing things alone. I like to get things done fast. If you plan with friends, it might take some time since you need to do planning and their schedule can be different from yours. Besides that, you might have different interest with them. I like horror, most of my friends don't like horror movies. But this doesn't mean i ignore my friends. Once awhile i will meet up with them but if i want to really do something and there's no one to company me, i'll do it alone. I'm not gloating that i can survive being alone. No one likes to be alone but there are times when you need to learn to be alone and cope with that feeling. Why should you fear loneliness? Unfortunately, many fear it.


Some people feel very alone when they are NOT in a relationship while most of their friends are in relationship or married. When people have partners, they tend to do things more with their partners, hence sometimes forgetting their friends. It's a very common scenario. That's why you have people feeling sad or down when they see people around them are in relationship. They are already alone, so when their friends are in relationship, they feel even more alone.

As Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche quote says, "The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters"...

There's so much truth to that. When you are alone and you feel miserable, the moment you have the opportunity to be with someone, you grab it immediately without thinking because you think by having someone you won't feel lonely anymore. You don't think whether you like the person inside and out. Do you even know that person's interests and hobbies? Or his good or bad habits? Just because someone said they like you, they are falling for you, they want to be with you, you get all too excited and decide to be in a relationship.


9 years ago, if a guy says he wants to be with me, i'll get all excited and think i want to be with him too. But after going through so many relationships and meeting all kinds of men and observing people's relationship, i learn one important lesson in relationship, never rush. Remember the song that goes ..

Wise men say only fools rush in



But I can't help  falling in love with you



Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?



If I can't help falling in love with you

The song is by Elvis Presley titled "Only Fools Rush In". True, only fools rush in. Love is always beautiful and perfect when you first start dating. You couldn't even see your partner's flaws.. That's what we call love is blind. You are so in love, you are ignorant.

Lonely as i may be, i wouldn't want to rush into relationship. i have set a certain standard for my next partner. Personally, i rather be alone than having to be in an unhappy relationship.

So many people are eager to be in a relationship or propose to be in a relationship because they are lonely or have been too lonely too long. To some extent, i don't blame them. I've been single about 6 months now since i last broke up with my ex. Some people have been single for years. Perhaps that's why they rush into a relationship the moment they have a chance. I wonder if i would be that way? Perhaps i should stay single for the next 2 years. But whatever it is, i won't commit into a relationship just because i'm lonely. I'll only commit if i find the The Almost Perfect Prince Charming. And i DEFINITELY will NOT be with a guy who wants to be with me just because he's feeling lonely, or he thinks he needs to settle down with someone. And i know such guy when i see one. And there are many of them. Loneliness shouldn't be a reason to be in a relationship.

I'm not ignorant of reality either.. perhaps now i'm capable of coping with loneliness because my family members are still around. I love them more than anything. But even if my family members are not around, i wish i will be able to cope with loneliness and won't let it consume me by making me resort to relationship despite not being ready.

Simplifying process of breaking up...

Why do people want to break up with you?

1. There's no future between the both of you.
2. Your partner is sick and tired of you.
3. Family disapprove of your relationship (this is so old fashion).
4. Your partner don't love you.
5. Third party.
6. And many more.

I've heard of the phrases "love you enough to let you go" or "do you love me enough to let me go". Personally for me, the MORE ACCURATE PHRASE is "I love myself enough to let you go". Why this phrase?

1. Everyone has their dignity. If somebody don't love you, or stopped loving you and says this straight to your face and if you cherish your dignity, you'll let that person go instead of begging that person for second chances. Don't stalk that person, don't say i love you to that person, don't try to fix things when your partner already gave you the ultimatum, don't do anything to jeopardize your dignity.

2. For those who have been CHEATED. i know some of you out there have the heart of an angel to the extent that you are willing to forgive your partner despite catching your partner with another person behind your back. Congrats, you are truly a saint! As for the rest of you out there, why don't just end it? there will be trust issues in the future if you were to continue the relationship. this happens because you never really forgive your partner but yet you don't have the guts to go through a breakup or another breakup. If you love yourself enough, break up with the cheater and find a loyal partner. why stick with a cheater, hoping that your partner really will change? There's a 50-50 chance your partner will or will not change.

3. If you think you are being treated like crap by your partner, then why not break up? I've seen idiotic people who are still in a relationship despite having partners that are abusive. Your partner is treating you like an object instead of a human. he doesn't have any respect for you. You know why? Why should anyone respect you if you let yourself be abused in some where? The more you do it, the more the person wants to abuse you. Abusive doesn't have to be beating you up badly, it can mean treating you roughly. Like the other day, i saw this couple arguing (i assume it's a couple and not brothers and sister), then i saw the guy pushed the girl roughly and walked away. If i was the girl, i will definitely dumped the bastard. A guy can say something mean to me and i can still tolerate with it but the moment he touches me roughly, i'll give him a bitch slap he'll never forget. Correction, punch pls. or a kick in the balls.


From my relationship experiences, i never think of myself being mean and selfish for asking a break up. i used to love my partner, then things started to turned sour. tried to solve the problem, but it couldn't be solved. I have no patience with the problems especially if it's an occurring problem. i find myself starting to love my partner less, find him more irritating and annoying. I tried to control myself from having these feelings, unfortunately it only got worst. because i don't love my partner anymore, i allowed myself to be friendly with other guys. The moment i find myself trying to distance myself from my partner, the more i realized it's time to break up. So better break up before i do anything stupid like cheating.

So in what way am i being selfish and mean to my ex partner? Instead of continuing the relationship, i choose to break up because whether or not i have a replacement for him, it's irrelevant. I didn't break up because of a third party, i broke up because i know i don't love him anyone and am capable of cheating if the relationship were to continue.

Some feelings can be controlled while some can't. You can never force someone to love you, neither could you make yourself try to love someone. So why get all hysterical about being a victim of a break up UNLESS you are cheated on? It's nothing extraordinary why a person stopped loving you, it could be for many reasons.

Now, the real bad ass people are those who choose to remain in a relationship, pretending there are no problems in the relationship and pretending that he or she is not annoyed by the problems in the relationship. Because of the problems that he choose to ignored, he seeks comfort in another person, hence the affairs and cheating...

It's easier said than done. but i've been there before. it hurts to ignore someone you really like or love but because i love myself more and don't want to look desperate, i can ignore that person easily. It takes strong will and a strong heart but it eventually pays off when you don't even remember that person.