Again This Issue...

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/hindu-mum-wants-conversion-fight-brought-to-apex-court/

Ah, this issue again. Where a non muslim couple get married and later have children then one of the parent decides to convert to Islam quietly and later convert his/her children to Islam behind the partner's back.

Then the newly converted parent try to use Syariah law as a shield to make the conversion "legal". This kind of gimmick will only taint the image of Syariah law, as in beneficial to the Muslims but a detriment to the non Muslims. Is that what Syariah law is? In my opinion that's not Syariah law. It's unfortunate how the people behind Syariah law turn a blind eye on justice for the non muslim. And you think why a Non Muslim want to be a syariah lawyer? Coz the Muslims syariah lawyers seem to be biased when it comes to the non muslim's interest. But even that a non muslim is denied the right to be a syariah lawyer.

I'm in support with the proposed amended law which states that the child should professed the religion in which his parents professed when they were married. Unfortunately up until now the proposed amended law has not been enforced and implemented as a law.

Now, in regards to the article above, it's wrong for the newly converted husband to convert the children to Islam without the knowledge of the wife. Both husband and wife have equal rights on the children. What the husband can do is send the children to Islamic school so they can learn about Islam without having to convert (since the wife don't want the children to be converted). And once the children turn 18, with the Islamic knowledge that they have learned, they can choose whether to convert or not.

In such situation, the children should remain as Hindus because when the parents were married, both parents were Hindus. Now you see the importance if the amended law was implemented? Had the wife known that the husband is going to convert to be a Muslim, i'm sure she wouldn't have agreed to marry him.

There are so many cases like this. Secret conversion and the secret conversion of the children. It makes you think whether such people genuinely want to convert or to convert to irritate and annoy the partner. I don't want to be judgmental but nevertheless secret conversion of the children behind your partner's back is WRONG and UNFAIR to your partner.

Inviting the EX/ EX SCANDAL to your wedding

So, there was this story of a boy and girl who were engaged. One day the girl decided to break off the engagement by not meeting him but instead giving him back the engagement ring (pussy coward). One month later, the girl SENT A WEDDING INVITATION to the guy.

Hence the question of "SHOULD YOU INVITE THE EX/EX SCANDAL TO YOUR WEDDING?"

My answer is NO. Why?

1. My ex and and I are friends but nevertheless i don't think i should invite him because for me the whole idea is wrong despite the fact he's just an EX. There are friends, and exes-turned-friends. These are DIFFERENT KIND OF FRIENDS.

2. In case my ex turned crazy when he sees me and my partner, i don't want to take the RISK he might go amok on my wedding and disclose unnecessary info to my future family in laws or friends.

3. And inviting ex scandal to your wedding?! Are you RETARDED or something? Why don't you invite the stripper from your bachelor/bachelorette party?

4. Why waste money inviting unnecessary guests? Weddings should just involved people who you are close with, not invite every human being you KNOW.

5. Inviting the ex might hurt my current partner even though my partner might say it's ok. Hmm this made me wonder whether a person actually INFORMS his/her partner that he/she is inviting the ex. I DOUBT IT.


So far i have never received any wedding invitations from my ex. But one of my ex actually ask me will i go to his wedding if he invites me. I said hell no. As and EX, why wouldn't i go to his wedding even though there is nothing between us?

1. My friends and my exes-turned-friends are two different species. Friends have more priority than exes. If really friends and exes are just THE SAME, why call an ex "The Ex" instead of "The Friend". And if you label an ex a friend to your partner, and your partner later finds out he/she is in fact an ex, be prepared to face the wrath.

2. Im not a fan of weddings so when an ex invites me, i won't even give it any considerations. At least if a friend invited me, i will try my best to make it if i have nothing to do.

3. I think i've seen too many cases of exes-turned-friends that don't really work out that way. It's more like exes-turned-friends with benefits. Some people have affair with their exes after they are married.


And why do some bitchy whorish women do this to men? Break up with the bf then in a few months she's engaged with another man or going to get married? Was she having another bf while you are still her bf because a wedding in a few months?? That's too soon unless it's an arranged marriage? But the nerve of such woman to send her wedding invitation to the ex. If i was the man, i will curse that the marriage never works. Hmm perhaps that's why some of the marriages of married women sucks, because some did bad things to their exes. KARMA.

When you Hate the Opposite Sex Too Much...

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/3/26/nation/8350820&sec=nation

The above link will lead you to an article about how a woman wouldn't want to get married and rather be with her cats. I quote her saying “Everytime I kiss, hug or play with my cats, I lose interest in men".

For me, saying such thing is simply creepy.

I'm a big cat lover. I like collecting stuff that look like cats. Yes, i did say i rather have cats than babies and when i said i don't want to get married, people will tell me i will be lonely but i will tell them my cats will keep me company. So how am i different from this kindda psycho woman?

Unlike this woman, no matter how much i play and go gaga over cats, i will never lose interest in men. Then why wouldn't i get married? Marriage is a BIG RESPONSIBILITY. The guy must be able to support me in every aspect. Having children is a big responsibility. Having cats is CHEAPER than having children. I don't want to be burdened financially if i choose to have a family. Why make life more difficult?

Yes, from my facebook posts, 70% will be about me bitching and bashing MEN. 9 years of going out with men and knowing them, i've met all kinds of men. Most are assholes, and some are genuine and have no ulterior motives. What makes me bitter about men is when they become pretentious and hypocrite.

Men have hurt and humiliated me but that didn't stop me from having a relationship. It only makes me stronger and more aware of what men are capable of doing.

Will i ever get married and have children despite bashing men? I never total shut off such ideas but it's not my priority right now. And i'm definitely not a lesbian because i'm still sexually attracted to men.

So it's all BULLSHIT when people turn into super psycho crazy cat lover/gay/lesbian after being hurt by the opposite sex. You are saying gay people never cheat before? Never hurt you? Can always be trusted? They won't cheat you with another same sex partner?

As for animals, logically speaking, if they could talk, there will be a probability they can say mean things to you. I've known many cats, they are like humans actually. Some are affectionate, some are not. If you have a male cat, and he go humps some female cat, of course you won't be jealous! A cat doesn't have to work, so of course it will have more time for you. So to compare a cat to a man, it's unfair.

But because of the SPECIAL NATURE of a cat (cute, friendly, cuddly, playful etc), they make good companions. And if you DON'T want something that talks back to you, hurt you, be inconsiderate to you, stresses you out, get a PET. Ideally a cat or a dog.

So what's the BENEFIT of having a MAN? The RIGHT man can be equally a great companion like a cat but such SPECIES is RARE. Perhaps even on the verge of extinction.

Damn, i sound like a MEAN GLOOMY BITCH

I took a personality test and the website is http://similarminds.com/bigfive.html.

So my results came out as RLOEN, which is :

"moody, not spontaneous, planner, unadventurous, withdrawn, prioritizes physical security, not big on art, not open to new experiences, not wild and crazy, avoids unnecessary interaction, bothered by disorder, not impulsive, not physically affectionate with most people, averse to change, not big on fun, socially unskilled, risk averse, feels untalented, thinks before acting, avoids crowds, loner, uncomfortable in unfamiliar situations, lower energy level, not that interested in relationships, not big on public speaking, lonely, easily frightened, slow to forgive, suspicious of others, strict with self, not a comedian, prepares for worst case scenarios, not calm, organized, avoidant, not very inquisitive, feels unattractive, avoids small talk, quick to judge others, easily annoyed, close minded, tense, private, prefers organized to unpredictable, hard to get to know, insensitive to the needs of others, not known for generosity, attached to conventional ways, pessimistic, acts with ulterior motives, not interested in science, risk averse"


When i read the results, i can't help myself from smiling because somehow i think it's somewhat 60%-80% accurate.


And my HIGHEST SCORING character and PRIMARY TYPE is ORGANIZED which reads :

"more controlled than random, more logical than abstract, uncomfortable when things are imperfect, more grounded than in the clouds, overachiever, likes the security of working for a company, motivated, wants everything to add up perfectly, saves money instead of spending it, feels best when working, does not go to concerts frequently, feels success provides a good model/example for others, not a fan of political instability and revolution, /wants to be good, balanced, and have integrity; fears being corrupt, evil, or defective/, does not like to look weird, financially prudent, mature, prefers non fiction to fiction, not a big partier, values tradition, values hard work, anti-tattoos, purposeful, thinks of most things in terms of costs and benefits"

That's like 80% accurate.

And my JUNG personality is also similar, which resulted in ISTJ type which is :

"responsible, planner, private, loner tendencies, perfectionist, organized, detail oriented, organized, would rather be friendless than jobless, realistic, observer, clean, focused, does not talk about feelings, finisher, punctual, private, does not appreciate strangeness, not adventurous, not spontaneous, follows the rules, dutiful, avoids mistakes, conventional, likes solitude, insensitive to the hardships of others, prepared, anti-tattoos, things rules are important, cautious, security seeking, prepares for worst case scenarios, logical, analytical, does not accept apologies easily, hard working"


Again, like my blog says, not a pessimistic but a realist :-)....

The Power of Arrange Marriage

Well, i don't believe in arrange marriage UNLESS i have given up hope on dating and i don't care what kind of man i end up with provided that i get good reviews about him from those who recommend the marriage to him.

My prob with arrange marriage is that what happens when you get married to the guy and you realize you have NOTHING IN COMMON at all with him? How do you deal with his irritating habits? And what happens if you can never love him because arrange marriage is actually trying to make yourself love someone.

Some people say arrange marriage works. And i guess it works because :

1. You are the kind of person who let yourself "adapt" to another human. Means you try to accept who your partner is no matter what. Basically you don't really have high demands.


2. Because it's already a MARRIAGE, you have to FORCE yourself to MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP WORK. Marriage = commitment.

3. You can't be bothered who you end up with as long as the person shares your ultimate goal which is being married and having a family.

4. You want to make your parents happy so you will try your best to make the arranged marriage worked.

Companionship or Relationship

People think that when you are in a relationship, you should automatically get companionship. That's true but most of the time it doesn't happen that way. That's why sometimes there are people who say they are lonely although they have a partner. What's the difference between relationship and companionship?

RELATIONSHIP :

We want it as a security. Relationship = obligation, loyalty, commitment, always there for you when you are up or down. When you choose to be in a relationship, there are A LOT OF EXPECTATIONS.

As a woman, what do i expect in a relationship? The guy to woo me, bring me out, pay for dates, be there for me when i need him, go to the extra mile for me, not to cheat behind my back, be committed, etc.

Marriage is a form of relationship too. So if i were to be married, i would expect the guy to be able to provide for the family. If he can't do so, what's the point of getting married? Don't tell me love conquers all. That's BS.

So what do men expect from a woman in a relationship? Since i'm NOT A MAN, this is what i THINK : for her to be committed only to him, be considerate, go to the extra mile for him, and many other stuff. And what does he expect from a woman in a MARRIAGE? Make sure the house is well taken care of and probably look after his family when he needs her help. Basically the wifely duties.


COMPANIONSHIP :

This is the EMOTIONAL part. You have a companionship if you are able to talk with the person (make decent conversations) and share stuff.

But there is also physical companionship. That's more to sex and fun. In some cases, the partner is not good at the sex department and hence, they go look for another person for sexual pleasure. Do people ever cheat and it DOESN'T INVOLVED SEX AT ALL?

So your partner cheats behind your back because :
a. You are boring in bed.
b. He/She is a horny bastard/bitch who can't get enough if have sex with just one person (this is not your fault).


COMPANIONSHIP VS RELATIONSHIP

People cheat because :
1. They feel lonely OR/AND
2. They feel horny.

Take marriage for example. Some women can be married to rich and successful man but deep down she feels lonely because the husband is always working and she thinks he has no time for her. There's NO COMPANIONSHIP.

Rich successful men probably cheat because they HAVE MONEY so they think they are POWERFUL and can get any CHEAP, PRETTY, WHORISH SKANKS. There are men who are not rich but cheat too. He's probably charming and a sweet talker with the women. There are some men who use their looks and hot bodies to score chicks (that's sooo prostitute like). So i just explained to you the many ways MEN CAN CHEAT.

But companionship alone is not good either since we are living in REALITY.
Reality = $$$.
Hence, the dramas you often see on tv where the girl is so totally in love with this cute but poor boy but the parents ask her to marry some rich guy.
Then you have the drug addicts story. Why in the hell does a woman marry a drug addict man?
1. Stupid.
2. Too in love with him.
3. Bloody hell stupid

But in terms of relationship wise, the man can never obviously provide for her since he's a drug addict. He's not even working. Or maybe we works but keep on changing his job so it's the woman who provides for the family.


HARD BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE

You must have both companionship and relationship. Hard but possible.

If it's just relationship alone, you can end up being lonely and depressed or be a cheating bastard/bitch.

If it's companionship alone, don't expect any future i guess? Good luck to those who think you can live on love alone.

Pictures of Your Ex - To Keep or Not To Keep

Firstly, have to thank my friend for bringing this up :-). He was asking me whether it's wise for people to keep pic of their ex as memories. Of coz me being a natural cold hearted biatch said NO. Although i do have some pics of ex, the only reason why i kept them is because i look good in it and it's EXPENSIVE. Expensive in the sense that it's those small little pics u take from Japanese photo taking machine. Example, like this :



It will cost you like RM 20 for like 8-12 small pics.But i always love the Japanese photo taking machine coz u can look how you are posing. Only hate the fact that there's a timer and the instructions are all JAPANESE! Japanese products, i love you but do give an English language as an optional language for your products.

But my friend says that we should keep those pictures as a remembrance of good memories. He has a point and if you are sentimental you will do that. Will i do that? Nope. Unless we took vacation pics and the background is pretty and I STILL LOOK GOOD.

But keeping a pic of your ex can be kindda dangerous if you are not the type that move on easily or if you are a lonely person. The scenario I pictured here is that you broke up with your ex, went on a few dates with other people, things probably didn't work out or if they did, it was not as good as your ex, then you feel lonely, then while cleaning your stuff ooopps, you came across a pic of your ex, good memories flashed back, and you have the urge to call your ex to see how things are going, then God knows what happens next.

The other day, a friend of mine came across a picture of his ex on fb with her NEW BABY. So the ex got married while he's still single. Looking at the pic, instead of feeling nothing, he feels SAD. When you look at an ex pic, it's better to FEEL NOTHING than to have any feelings.

And i really don't like looking at the pic of me and my ex together. Sometimes it made me wonder, as i looked at the pic, how can we used to be together and happy. I guess the 1st year of a relationship is always UNREALISTIC because you won't show your true colours. But you always learn something from past relationships.

And it was only yesterday when i saw this malay drama where the guy keeps a blouse of his ex gf. luckily he burnt it when his wife told him to do so.

Good or bad memories, i wouldn't really want to remember. Past is past. But me being me, my brain is really good at remembering bad things ;-p.

The Rude Foreigner

I just wanted to share this which you because i find it insulting when a foreigner insults my own country :

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/notes/wailoon-foo/australian-girl-said-durian-is-made-for-jungle-peoplemalaysian-and-blinding-insu/1922011287560

Funny how this whole saga started with a comment "dude.. it's meant for Malaysians, not us. we aren't from the jungle! Don't eat it again. Lol". This whole matter wouldn't be so big if the bitch just apologized. But noooo, instead she chose to defend herself and dug her own grave deeper.

God only knows what gave her the idea that you must be a jungle person if you eat durians. Other fruits don't come from the jungle?

This whole saga is more than just a durian thing actually because if you read further, she goes on to criticize and humiliate Malaysia and Malaysians, specifically the Chinese because my friends who condemned her for calling Malaysians jungle people are Chinese.

Who wouldn't be insulted if you tell someone he's from the jungle? I, as a Sabahan, feel very insulted when some people think i eat worms, stay on trees or call the plane "belon". That's how little knowledge non Sabahans can have of Sabahans. Wonder where did they get such info because obviously it doesn't come from the History textbook. And i have experienced these kind of things before and get irritated and will respond in a SARCASTIC manner.

Now, how would you feel if a FOREIGNER belittles you? Feel free to call me sensitive but i won't simply let you off the hook after you insulted my people and my country.

Then she insulted the origins of the Chinese in Malaysia. The nerve of her??! Judging from her pic, she doesn't look aborigine and she looks like a white. Here's a little history lesson from wikipedia :

After discovery by Dutch explorers in 1606, Australia's eastern half was claimed by Britain in 1770 and initially settled through penal transportation to the colony of New South Wales, formally founded on 7 February 1788.

PENAL TRANSPORTATION. Do you know what that means? Transportation or penal transportation is the deporting of convicted criminals to a penal colony. So before you open your big fat mouth insulting other people's origins, firstly figure out WHERE IN THE HELL did you come from. I'm not insulting the white Australians, but i'm just pointing out a historical fact. It's like, if you are fat, don't call another person fat. It's like the pot calling the kettle black, but in this case, the pot is from a not so pleasant origin.

So moral of the story :

1. Don't insult other people's country/the people/the culture.
2. Apologize sooner than later.
3. Think before you say something.
4. If you are NOT PERFECT, don't simply point out other people's so called flaws.
5. Rude people deserved to be rude to.

Pig Flesh, Skin & DNA

http://amenoworld.blogspot.com/2011/03/isu-ubat-babi-kenapa-kerajaan-cuai.html

So the above article says that using a pig's dna to make the capsule of a medicine is a NO NO. And it's not even halal.

I don't know about other Muslim countries but being a Malaysian, this is what i can tell you : most (or maybe some?) muslims find pigs and dogs disgusting animals just because the Al-Quran says they are HARAM. Let me illustrate how they find it disgusting (these are my personal experiences) :

1. I had a lecturer who is a Muslim who is very fond of collecting dolls that look like pigs. Strange but true. But i do have to admit that some pig dolls are cute but i will never get one though since im more obsessed with cat dolls. So i have a classmate who is a CONSERVATIVE MUSLIM. She's a real bitch actually because behind that image of wearing a headcover and talking about how to be a good Muslim wife and blah blah blah, she sweet talk to men to get them to pay for her top ups for her mobile phone. Yes, im bitching about her coz she bitched about me. Okay, let's continue before i get carried away with my anger. So this conservative bitch thinks that it's not right for the lecturer to keep those dolls, i think she even thinks it's disgusting. Come on, it's just a freaking doll stuffed with cottons. What's disgusting about it? The IMAGE ITSELF? This bitch has some grudge on this lecturer so she says that the lecturer's face looks like a pig.

2. Some Muslim will give you this weird look if you say you have a dog at home. I used to have a dog, and the purpose is for house security because there have been theft. The Quran just says that you can't touch a dog when it's wet. So is it wrong if i keep one to keep my house safe? Or even touch one when it's dry?

3. The lacked of compassion by some local authorities when it comes to shooting down stray dogs. Their disgust for dogs make them less compassion when they have to deal with dog matters.




Okay, enough with the examples. Now, a verse from the Quran regarding the consumption of pork which i quote from another site :

The verses that pork (i.e. swine flesh) is prohibited in the Quran are 2:173, 5:3, 6:145 and 16:115.

5:3. Forbidden to you (for food) are: dead meat, blood, the flesh of swine, and that on which hath been invoked the name of other than Allah. that which hath been killed by strangling, or by a violent blow, or by a headlong fall, or by being gored to death; that which hath been (partly) eaten by a wild animal; unless ye are able to slaughter it (in due form); that which is sacrificed on stone (altars); (forbidden) also is the division (of meat) by raffling with arrows: that is impiety. This day have those who reject faith given up all hope of your religion: yet fear them not but fear Me. This day have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam (“submission in peace”) as your religion. But if any is forced by hunger, with no inclination to transgression, Allah is indeed Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful. (Quran 5:3)


This this article, it's interesting : http://wisdomtoislam.com/evidence-of-islam/people-of-the-book-evidence-of-islam/why-is-pork-prohibited-in-islam-quran-and-the-bible-a-conformity-between-bible-and-quran


So the verse SPECIFICALLY says THE FLESH OF SWINE.

So is it wrong to be wearing a shoe made from the PIG SKIN?

Or to consume a medicine with the capsule made from PIG DNA?

Why is pork forbidden in Islam? Allah knows best and even science have proven that PORK is unhealthy.

But does PIG SKIN and PIG DNA pose a DANGER to our health? I doubt it. But people FEAR these things just because it's from a PIG. They have this MENTALITY that anything that comes from a pig, looks like pig, sounds like a pig are ALL HARAM when in fact the Quran only forbid the FLESH OF A PIG.

It's like i'm telling you not to go to One Utama Shopping Mall but you instead say that i said you can't go to ALL SHOPPING MALLS.

And it's ridiculous how some people make it sound so utterly disgusting to have something from a pig in your body. Let me quote some phrases from the 1st article :

1. Ini pula dibuat ubat, lagilah tak logik. Takanlah benda yang sebegitu haram boleh dijadikan ubat untuk menyembuhkan kita? Mungkin sembuh secara zahir tetapi batin semakin sakit sebab babi [yang haram] telah beranak-pinak dalam badan dan menjadikan kita tempat agen pembiakan dna babi pula. Sebab itu ada orang islam yang jahat mengalahkan syaitan sebab babi [yang haram] dalam badan dia lebih banyak dari babi [yang haram] dalam syaitan itu sendiri.

2. Sebab itu kalau lihat orang yang beriman mereka cukup menitikberatkan soal pemakanan yang halal. Sebab apa? Sebab ianya memang mempengaruhi setiap keputusan dalam kehidupan kita.Contohnya jenayah rogol orang islam, masalah sosial remaja muslim, merempit dan sebagainya, ini mempengaruhi.

Really? Pork make you become a better criminal? I can accept it if you were to say consuming pork will destroy your health but it has no whatsoever effect on determining what kind of human being you will become. That's attitude and mental problem. Some non muslims who consume pork have better characters than muslims who don't consume pork.

Some Muslims in Malaysia are definitely inconsiderate when they make statements on how disgusting pork is. I say inconsiderate because you are living in a country where there are non muslims who consume pork. So think about what you are saying. Can't you just say that consuming pork is forbidden instead of going on and on with your unrealistic facts on how consuming pork make you a very evil person.

Guys that Don't Attract Me...

Since i'm bored and kindda pissed off, i'm gonna list down the kind of guys that i WILL NEVER EVER EVER WANT TO GO ON A DATE with :

1. Too soft. Act so girlish.
2. Obnoxious bastard.
3. Talk to a girl the way he talks to a guy a.k.a rude and rough.
4. Super Duper World Class Pervert.
5. Stares at women like a pervert.
6. Dull a.k.a doesn't talk much or simply can't give an opinion bout something.
7. Arrogant.
8. Inconsiderate.
9. Use bad words frequently.
10. Dirty and unhygienic.

Virginity

Sometimes people lose their virginity for all the wrong reasons and one of the reasons which i can't accept is because the idea of being a virgin is not cool. Movies tend to give you the idea that being a virgin is not cool and it's pathetic. Like in The 40 Year Old Virgin, the character was being made fun of for being a virgin. But movies being movies, in the end they showed that although he had been a virgin for such a bloody long time, he eventually lost it to someone who he REALLY LOVES and who he MARRIED.

Then recently i watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy where the 28 year old Kapner (if i spelled it correctly) was being teased for being a virgin by her co workers who were bragging when they lost their virginity. So this indirectly tells you it ain't cool to be a virgin.

Today i watched an episode of Glee, also talking about sex where the issue is that too many teens are getting pregnant out of wedlock (a famous issue here in Malaysia too, together with baby dumping). So the high school have a CELIBACY CLUB with very few students participating in it (again showing how uncool not having sex is).

To have sex is basically your choice. Don't let others pressure you. There are pros and cons of it.

And since we are on this topic, it made me think about the VALUE of "VIRGINITY". I've heard of how some men just want to marry virgin girls despite the fact they themselves are NOT virgin. Is the assumption that a "virgin girl will make a good wife right"? It depends.

Virginity only last for a few seconds before the girl's hymen is being popped open. Sure the guy will appreciate the girl's virginity and think of himself as a stallion on bed with his "superb" past experiences with other women but if a virgin woman expect the man to APPRECIATE it GREATLY, then forget it. If she doesn't brush up on her sexual skills, then the guy will surely find another. And that's probably the time when the girl will regret keeping her virginity for the cheating bastard.

Just because you have sexual experiences, doesn't make you BETTER or COOLER than a virgin person. Besides, having sex out of wedlock is immoral, i don't see the point of bragging about it in the open.

Mario Gave Me Awareness

Super Mario. If you don't know what is that, SHAME ON YOU. It's a video game featuring the cute adorable red plumber. It's my favorite game and that's the reason why i bought Nintendo DS and Nintendo Wii..

So the other day i was playing The New Super Mario Bros, and i realized how careless i am. My Mario kept on dying on the same bloody spot and it was an easy task actually but i was TOO EAGER and IMPATIENT to proceed that i kept dying.

I've seen some people played Mario, they were calm and careful playing (or perhaps just NATURALLY THAT DAMN GOOD with the CONTROLS), perhaps only dying 1-3 times while i die more than 5 times.

So it made me realized that i am in fact IMPATIENT. A good and bad trait at the same time although most would think it's a BAD HABIT. Sometimes it can be a good trait, in the sense that i want to complete my assignment EARLY not because i want to be a teacher's pet but because i can't stand having PENDING WORK. And it's not good to do things last minute anyway.

And right now i'm practicing how to drive. It made me wonder whether i will be impatient on the road. It's a VERY BAD THING if im impatient on the road. With Mario, it seems like a made a lot of BAD JUDGMENT. Like i think i can jump, but the fact is i can't, so i died. So yes, i am kindda worried if i will make bad judgment on the road...

Forced, Pressured or Raped

http://malaysia.promotion.yahoo.com/entertainment/article/post/entertainmentfeat_sg/219/i-was-forced-to-sleep-with-31-men-jang-ja-yeon.html

Have a look at the article above.

Words... Sometimes they can be dangerous and misleading if the wrong term is used or there's NO EXPLANATION to it.

So, based on the articled above, "In over 50 letters, Jang alleged that she was made to offer sexual favours to prominent figures within the industry, as well as to heads and officials of private and media enterprises."

The title of the article above is titled "I was FORCED to sleep with 31 men" - Jang Ja Yeon.

So a friend of mine thinks that i'm not being sympathetic enough with this suicide victim who was "FORCED" to have sex. I basically don't really feel sorry for this woman because she killed herself and that she should have gone to the police instead of killing herself. So let me defend my LACKED OF SYMPATHY.

Forced, Pressured and Raped can mean different things. But forced and pressured are actually the same thing. Let me illustrate some of it.

1. I need money. So the easiest way to get money is to sell my body for sex in return for money. I don't want to do it and i feel disgusted doing it, but i feel the PRESSURE to do it. Hence i do it. I may even say i was "FORCED" to do it because people hardly use the term "pressured". Forced is a common word than pressured. Basically i can't say i was RAPED right?

2. I said i DON'T WANT to HAVE SEX and i don't care whether you pay me or not. But if you still insist to have sex with me, forced yourself on to me, then that's RAPE. Here, i didn't forced myself to be in such situation but instead the guy forced himself on me.

Unless you were raped, i won't really feel sorry for you. When you are pressured to do something, SOMETIMES you have a CHOICE NOT TO DO IT. Knowing the entertainment industry, wannabe female actresses,models or singers sometimes have to sleep around in order to get contracts or to be well known among famous people or agents. So this suicide victim said that she was FORCED to sleep with those men. She felt the pressure to do so because if she doesn't, she probably can't get any contracts. The situation forced her to sleep with those men and of course she doesn't like it and that lead to her depression which she eventually killed herself (i'm making an assumption from her letters).

Would u feel sorry for me if i told you that im selling my body to get money because i need to pay my bills? Honestly, if i was in such situation, i would keep quiet about it because i know it's the WRONG THING to do and that the other person is a SOB for making me do it but seeking for people's sympathy is the last thing on my mind.

And that is my explanation for my lacked of sympathy for such scenario.

P/s : forced doesn't necessarily means raped. If you were raped, then use the word RAPE. That's the reason why such word exist you know. You use rape, there can be no confusion.

Being Mean in the Name of Religion

1. Chide : to express disapproval of; scold; reproach

2. Criticize : to censure or find fault with; judge unfavorably or harshly; to make judgments as to merits and faults

3. Insult : to treat or speak to insolently or with contemptuous rudeness; affront.

4. Condemn : to express an unfavorable or adverse judgment on; indicate strong disapproval of; censure.

Some of the Muslims think it's A DUTY that when a fellow Muslim don't follow the teachings of Islam, they should be condemned or chided. I use "condemn" and "chide" because in Malay, they will call it "tegur" a.k.a "sebagai saudara Islam, kita patut tegur bile saudara Islam lain berbuat dosa".

They will never use the word "hina" because that would mean we ought to "insult" the sinner.

So i hope you know the difference between condemning and insulting because they are 2 VERY DIFFERENT THINGS.

It's ok to scold someone but not to demean or insult that person. You think that person would want to listen to you if you insulted him?

So yes, there are a bunch of Muslims in Malaysia who like to go around "scolding" other Muslims who don't behave like a proper Muslim. I experience this because i don't dress like an IDEAL MUSLIM.

I don't get pissed off if you tell me NICELY that i should change my attire, nor if you tell me i should start wearing a head cover.

But i do get pissed off when you INSULTED me by saying no man would want to marry someone like me (coz i don't dress like an ideal Muslim woman), or you say things like "Oh you think you are pretty dressing like that?" or when you say my dressing is like a hooker.

Im sure in Islam demeaning and insulting people is a sin. Because one shouldn't "mengaibkan" another person.

Im not a fan of the Prime Minister's wife, Rosmah Mansur because i couldn't care less about politics. But it really pisses me off when i see people INSULTING her for the mere fact that she's not wearing a head cover. And how these people insulted her? They insulted her appearance, calling her fat, short and whatever it is. Why, you think by calling her ugly you will get her to wear a bloody head cover?

Truly, if you think you are such a "perfect" Muslim, maybe you should look after your foul mouth you pretentious hypocrite. You can so easily fool someone with your decent "outer appearance".

And just because the issue involve religion, people think they can say whatever mean things about someone who don't follow the religion. Kindly RETHINK your method. Even the prophets don't preach and force people to embrace the religion via violence or by saying mean hurtful and humiliating things.

The Issue with Surrogate Mothers

I believe in the Quran, so if the Quran specifically forbids something, then i won't argue against it. But that smoking for example. The Quran didn't forbid it specifically (since maybe back then people don't smoke) but there is a "general" verse which states that anything that is DANGEROUS to the health is forbidden, hence the idea that smoking is forbidden. I can't quote the verse since i don't really remember. Then again, since in Malaysia a lot of people smoke, they don't make it A SUPER BIG DEAL that it's HARAM but they make it a super big deal for women who don't dress like a Muslim and couples who do immoral activities. H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-S-Y.

What is a surrogate mother? Dictionary.com says :

a woman who helps a couple to have a child by carrying to term an embryo conceived by the couple and transferred to her uterus, or by being inseminated with the man's sperm and either donating the embryo for transfer to the woman's uterus or carrying it to term.

So today, i came across an article in News Straits Times titled "Islam Forbids Surrogacy". This is the site :

http://www.nst.com.my/nst/articles//14surr/Article/

Why? According to Ustaz Mat Jais Kamos of Selangor Islamic affairs officer, and i quote him as the newspaper quote him, "if a woman delivers the baby of another woman, who can be considered the mother? there will be a problem determining the rightful mother according to Islam". He also states that "creation of a child should not involve a third party".

There can be 2 kinds of surrogate mother (this is what i know of surrogacy anyway) :

1. The husband's sperm and wife's egg are used but fertilized outside of the womb (in vitro fertilisation). Then later the embryo will be inserted into another woman's womb because the wife's womb isn't strong enough to carry a baby.

2. The husband's sperm is used and another woman's egg is used but fertilized outside of the womb (since no wife in her right mind would allow her husband to screw another woman). Why not use the wife's egg? Either she can't produce one or her egg is "bad".

No.2 definitely is against Islam because the woman who gave her egg to the husband to be fertilized is NOT LEGALLY MARRIED to him. So that's totally out.

But No.1 situation made me think that such surrogacy is not against Islam. Firstly, there is no out of wedlock sexual intercourse taking place. Secondly, both the husband's sperm and wife's egg are being used. The only problem is that they need a "medium" to allow the embryo to grow and hence, the need of a surrogate mother.

According to the ustaz, in vitro fertilization is allowed in Islam because "the mother is the same person. there will be no conflict. but the fertilisation should be done after the solemnisation of marriage". Such in vitro will only be allowed if the womb that is going to carry the baby is the wife's one and not another woman's.

So the ustaz's concern with surrogacy is that there will be a conflict WHO IS THE MOTHER.

To my understanding, the mother is of course the woman who's EGG IS BEING USED. That's why i say if both the husband's sperm and wife's egg are being used, surrogacy is ok. That's the BIOLOGICAL MOTHER. Dictionary.com defines biological mother as

a parent who has conceived (biological mother) or sired (biological father) rather than adopted a child and whose genes are therefore transmitted to the child.

The keyword here is that TRANSMISSION OF GENES. The child will have the gene of both the husband and wife and the surrogate mother is just a "medium".

But the problem with HUMAN BEINGS is that they want to be so extra emotional that they think the woman who gave BIRTH to the child should also be considered a mother although GENETICALLY the child is NOT HERS.

But maybe you want to make things more complicated, you divide the term "mother" into BIOLOGICAL MOTHER and NON BIOLOGICAL MOTHER.

Just because you breastfeed the child until the child is old enough doesn't make you his biological mother.

Just because you rent your womb to another woman to fertilized her embryo doesn't make you the child's biological mother.

The GENERAL RULE, biological mother have more priority and is the ULTIMATE MOTHER. The real mother is the biological mother. END OF STORY.

So there is a fatwa that says "surrogacy is forbidden in Islam even if the sperm and ovum were taken from married couple". Reason? "uncertainty of the child's parentage and the lack of regulation on option of choosing a surrogate mother".

What i'm trying to say is that the child's parentage is really not that confusing if surrogacy is used since you are using the husband's sperm and the wife's egg. And DNA will tell you who's the child's MOTHER.

Hmm i'm thinking that if 100 years from now you can develop a human baby without using a womb, is that forbidden too although the sperm and egg are from a legally married couple and no out of wedlock sex is involved?