Trust

It's very hard to gain someone's trust, especially if you have broken the trust before. Trust shouldn't be abused and misused.

In a relationship, trust is crucial. When you trust your partner, you don't do things like check his handphone or his laptop, even if he allows you. Of course he will allow you to check his stuff because if you say no, then you'll start becoming suspicious and will be more problematic a.k.a a nuisance to him and demand answers from him.

But you can't check his hp nor his laptop WITHOUT his permission, regardless if he's hiding something from you. Marriage or relationship doesn't mean you give up your privacy to your partners. Some partners do that, and really, i can't do that. I expect some privacy in my life and "space". Just because im not willing to share some things with my partner, doesn't mean i don't love him.

With all the spot checks you are doing on your partner, don't you think it makes you look paranoid and disrespectful to your partner and at the same it will make your partner "smarter" in hiding things, knowing how nosy you can be.

In bf/gf relationship, you frequently check his hp and laptop and yet you don't see anything amiss to indicate his cheating. Doesn't it cross your mind how married people cheat then since the wife or husband is always at home. Would you always be suspicious whenever your husband goes overseas or hangs out with his friends? Truth to be told, that's when he cheated.

I know someone who was never busy body or paranoid about his partner cheating. He never expect his partner to cheat. But he did find out about the cheating early thru his friends. And he just confronted the woman and the woman, being in a state of shock, admit it. And I've seen how cheating unfolds itself in a miraculous way. It may hurt how you found out about it, but you have CLEAR PROOF that person is cheating, rather than exchange of SMSes between your partner and the opposite sex. They could have just been friends, it doesn't expose any cheating.

As i've said earlier, once you abused trust, it's hard for you to gain back the trust. When your partner cheats, you decide to take him back and you think you can trust him again. People always THINK they can do things or PRETEND to accept like nothing bad happened.

When you don't trust your partner because he has cheated before, that's when accusations and arguments will keep on coming. Even when he didn't cheat, you accused him of cheating because he cheated you before. So really, i don't understand how people can live in a relationship like that? You don't want to let him go because you still love him even though he cheated behind your back but yet you never really forgive him for cheating behind your back. And it will take you YEARS to actually realize that you can never trust your partner again and thus ending the relationship. Haven't you waste your time pretending and trying to trust your partner?

Or perhaps you are the kind of person that don't mind getting knocked over so many times.