Reviewing my past relationships.

It took me some time to actually realized that I'm afraid of relationship commitments. Truth to be told, i am a loyal partner but expect me stray when i don't see a future in the relationship. Why did i break up with my last ex? I don't see a future with him. Why have a relationship if you can't see a future with the one that you love? Besides that, the love have gone. I can't say I Love You in a genuine way as i used to. What happened to that feeling? It was destroyed by the many arguments that we had. People may say they are petty arguments but i'm a woman who take arguments and dissatisfaction seriously. Problems that keep on reoccurring are SERIOUS, why in the hell would it keep on reoccurring then? i don't like having problems lingering around my life. I find a solution and get a solution, even if it's drastic, like BREAKING UP.

My past relationships have shown that i'm still not ready to be in a relationship because i'm not willing to give up certain things and not that willing to compromise. I find it very hard to compromise with men than women because men are just bloody irritating. I love men but i hate them at the same time. Fortunately my hate for men haven't turned me into a lesbian. I don't think i'll be one anyway if i remained unmarried until i'm 100 years old. Besides me being the problematic one, i haven't found Mr Right. Perhaps my demands are high. But who cares. My priority is not getting married. Maybe you should ask me that when i reached 30 years old.

My next relationship will be when i start to work because i just want to see if i can handle a career and a bf at the same time. Another reason why a partner strays off from he relationship is because he/she didn't get enough attention from his/her partner. So i don't want that to happen. If i can find a partner who's as busy as me, then that will be fine.

My 2010 love motto ---> never rush into the next relationship. I'll get to know my partner for 6 months first before i decide we can be a couple or not. If there's one thing i learn about relationship is that it's always perfect in the beginning. You can see no flaws in your partner. You have the butterfly feeling in your stomach, your heart will be so excited at the sight of your partner and you'll do anything for your partner. That's how you feel during the first 5 months of your relationship after declaring. Then like any normal human being, you still start taking your partner for granted or you'll start showing your bad side. Some how that bad side just happened to crept out after 5 months into the relationship. FUNNY. WHAT A COINCIDENCE you didn't discover it earlier. Too blinded by love?

Every time it seems that i found Mr Right, i'll make sure i see his bad side too because no one is perfect. So am i. Whatever secrets i have, i tell my partner. So dig all you can before you choose to commit, you don't want to find any secrets when your relationship seems to be going smoothly. I don't know, i see a lot of women who have tolerance in accepting the fact their partner cheated behind their back 'physically' with another woman WHILE IN THE RELATIONSHIP, or when their partner is abusive. For me, these are no no. Not a single ounce of tolerance from me. Why? Because i'm an Alpha Woman. What's that? Try google Alpha Man.

So the process of my next relationship? : I need to change --> Mr Right needs to be Mr Right with the qualities that i'm seeking --> Balance career and relationship.