One of my many flaws is the fact that i don't forget easily, in the sense that I'm a person who carry grudges for a long time, perhaps even until i die i will die with grudge against those who did me wrong. Not that i get angry at everyone who did me wrong and never forgive them, i'm not that crazy but these grudges that i have are towards those who really hurt me, humiliate me, degrade me with their words or actions.
People would tell me there's no point of me keeping these grudges, it will just make me look and sound ugly. I think otherwise. It's a matter of principle. The principle of hatred.
I hate these people beyond anything and could only wish the worst for them. But i will never do anything to destroy them. I only wish and pray and if they actually suffer, it will actually bring joy to that little evil part of my heart.
Just because i tell people what these people that i hate did or say to me, it doesn't mean i'm bad mouthing them or trying to jeopardize their so called 'good image'. I'm only telling the truth, and i have proof of what they actually say to me. Example :
If i simply call person A a whore just because i don't like her and she never did any wrong to me, that's bad mouthing.
Now, if i call person A a whore and she actually goes around sleeping with men, that's not bad mouthing.
So why i choose to keep the hate and not just forgive them? The hatred doesn't consume me because i hardly remember i have grudges against them until i see their stupid faces or hear from them.
Yes, i take pleasure in seeing the people that I TRULY HATE suffer. They deserve it for what they did to me. Even hatred have stages :
1. Normal hate --> you simply hate someone because you don't like his appearance or attitude. The common hatred. But you don't wish something bad happen to him.
2. Vengeance hate --> somebody did wrong (not those normal typical mistakes) to you and you want pay back. You wish the worst for this person. It depends really how u want the pay back. You could do a POSITIVE ACT to destroy that person, you can just ABUSE the person verbally and wait KARMA to take it's course on that person and just sit back and relax and watch the person suffer.
The person with the highest level of integrity is the one who hates for the sake of God and loves for the sake of God. What does it mean to hate and love for the sake of God?
ReplyDeletei would think it means this person does what God tells him to do. Example : he may like taking drugs or drinking alcohol but for the sake of God (because it's sinful), he will hate those stuff and many other sinful stuff. N loves for the sake for God means, for example, God say you should love and care for ur neighbours but deep down u really hate ur neighbour for all the annoying things he's done but for the sake of God and his teachings, you will try love ur neighbour. Thats why people around me say why should i hate the bitch who did me wrong, i should forgive and forget, religion don't teach its people to hate. Perhaps this bitch will get her punishment one day. Unfortunately for me, im not a saint and don't have the strength to pretend to be nice to someone who i clearly hate. Instead of bad mouthing bout her to my frens, i bitch bout her on my blogs coz this is where i vent out my anger. I bitch with integrity. What do u thinK?
ReplyDeletelets explore this concept of "loving/hating for the sake of God" more, bit by bit thou coz its not an easy one to grasp leave alone being able to practice it. U said " I...dont have the strength to pretend to be nice to someone who i clearly hate." Now what this concept is telling us is "If u hate for the sake of God then there is no need to suppress that feeling , indeed u are better off by expressing it." But again how to know whether your hatred is for the sake of God or not?
ReplyDeletewho says "If u hate for the sake of God then there is no need to suppress that feeling , indeed u are better off by expressing it." ? Coz i disagree with the statement, unless u can explain to me? there's a lot of things in life where we have to suppress our feelings because those feelings are not condoned by society or religion. If we express it, we'll commit a sin and be critized by society. Example, say if my sexual tendency is towards women when it should be towards men. Religion forbids me to be homosexual and society don't accept homosexuals. In order not to commit sin and to be accepted by society, i have to LEARN TO SUPPRESS that feeling of homosexuality because expressing it will just give me more probs. Whatever the religous books, like the Quran, tell u is a sin, u should be hating it. That's how u know u hate for the sake of God even though u might like to do some of those sinful stuff.
ReplyDeleteU say " In order... to be accepted by society...". Its enough for you to be accepted by God - the Lord of The Worlds Who owns everything u need and desire. Did u write this after or before listening to the lecture?
ReplyDeleteHow about when a person finds herself in a situation where she has to choose between doing what she thinks would please (accepted by) society and doing what would please God? If she chooses to please society then in case God wills to cause her pain society would not be able to protect her from God. If she chooses to please God then should society will to cause her pain then God would always be able to protect her from the society if He so wills.
ReplyDeletePleasing God is more of a priority compare to pleasing society. Please God first, then YOURSELF and then society :-)...
ReplyDeletei write that before listening to the lecture.. why? "Its enough for you to be accepted by God - the Lord of The Worlds Who owns everything u need and desire --->" u wrote this. Everything sounds easy when u only have to please God and of course it's the right thing to do but we humans are weak beings... especially the ones that are not so close to God as they ought to be.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting statement to say the least --->"Everything sounds easy when u only have to please God ...but we humans are weak beings." One might argue: Exactly, u are weak so do what is easy. But we humans are so weak to the point of not being able to see what is easy for us...or... we are so weak to the point of not being able to realize that we are weak, hence our choice to do what is difficult and leave what is easy for us.
ReplyDeletewe are weak coz it's our NATURE. We have lusts and needs ... we are created that way.. hence all these tests and tribulations to see whether we can believe without seeing. Isn't that's the purpose why we are on earth? Fight temptations and believe in God.
ReplyDelete